After having chest pains for 3 days continuously, sometimes being unbearably painful, coupled with feeling dizzy a lot of the time I was pretty sure that I was having heart/lung problems. Last Wednesday I decided to go to the doctors and tell them about them. I had my blood pressure took, blood oxygen levels, heart beat monitored etc and she said my ticker was fine. Then I had my breathing checked and she said my lungs were fine too as far as she was concerned. She told me that tablets I'd been taking recently had probably exacerbated other problems in my stomach. I was referred to go to the hospital and set a date for what is now tomorrow.. I was also prescribed with antacids which she said would help with the heartburn/chest pains. I don't know the extent of what's up and I was reassured it most likely wouldn't be anything serious, and just inflamed stomach lining or something along the lines.
Anyway, the news has MASSIVELY improved my mood and all round outlook on life. It's amazing how much better you feel when you've had a weight lifted off you. I spent weeks/months really fearing for my heart and health, often leading to panic attacks and it didn't help my anxiety. I've not really been bothered by anything recently and feel invincible as of late. Seemingly unrelated to other stuff it's really helped me with understanding about myself too and let me get on with my life working out what I want to do, not doing stuff to try and influence the judgement of others.
I've got a lot of stuff off my mind. I've really found myself not caring about the thoughts of others, not doing stuff to impress others, or through bitterness and anger. I've got a lot of exciting things coming to look forward to too. It's nice to finally enjoy life.
I'm going to London this weekend to watch the football, and by sheer luck there's an early years Oasis exhibition on in Hackney that I'm going to go to on the Saturday. If I've got time I'd quite like to see all touristy stuff too as I haven't done that since I was young. I've also got a job interview with an IT marketing firm. I'm not too interested in the job because they expect far too much for what they pay, but it'll be good to practice interview technique.
I've also booked my first flying lesson. Well, it's more of a 'taster' lesson. After a ground briefing and explanation you get into the plane with a pilot. Once a pilot gets you airborne you can take the controls for 30 minutes and get to fly a small prop plane. Despite a fear of flying, I've always been interested in the technical side of aviation. I think it's something to do now while I'm feeling positive. It might help me with commercial flying too, in the sense I will be happier to fly, meaning that I can travel a lot easier and happier.
I've recently discovered Steel Panther. They're a glam-rock parody with great lyrics. It's a shame I'm a month too late because they did a UK tour in March. Oh well, maybe next time.
You know, Trevor, if you suffer such neurological sensitivity, emotionally shunted up and down whimsically at every break of good and bad news, ya never gonna find contentment. Ya need to centre yourself. For instance, a lobotomy. It would be good for you and everyone you know, especially if you care about them. Which you don't, cos ya a selfish, arrogant, lying little dickhead.
ReplyDeleteSteel Panther is an appropriate band for you — shite parody. Neither of you has a jot of any authenticity, not a furlong stretch of genuine emotion, just baffled, uncertain, neurotic self examination disguised and puffed up as its exact opposite, certainty, confidence and wisdom. If you believe in nothing then you are nothing.
You should first learn to pilot yourself before you begin to pilot planes. You are an impending 9/11 of human hearts, if not already — I am the tower.